WEDDING TRADITIONS AND FOLKLORE

WEDDING TRADITIONS – where have they gone?


Today’s brides are not necessarily into the traditions of bride’s of the past. Glitter and glamour seem to occupy many brides’ wedding plans today. In looking at wedding traditions, we will talk about many in a three part blog posting.

Some of what we think of as traditions is actually folk lore, carried down from times past.

THE WEDDING RING

Since the Roman times, the wedding ring has always been placed on the third finger of the left hand. They believed that fingers vein ran straight to the heart.

The ring is also a circle – meaning never ending.

Some faiths place the ring on a different finger during the ceremony.

SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING NEW, SOMETHING BORROWED, SOMETHING BLUE, AND A SIXPENCE IN YOUR SHOE

This is one of the customs that has been altered or entirely dropped by brides of today. We will look at each area individually and the meaning behind them

Something old is a reflection of the bond to the bride’s family and the past. It can be reflected in the wearing of the mother’s or grandmother’s wedding gown (which is seldom done today), or the wearing of a piece of family jewelry. It was often a hanky of a grandmother, or a small family bible.

Something new gives the symbol of hope and good fortune. This is often seen as the new wedding gown, a piece of jewelry as a gift from the groom or her family.

Something borrowed is usually an item lent to the bride from a happily married secure mature woman. It is meant to share the happiness, good fortune and joy of a stable woman.

Something blue is a symbol of love, fidelity and purity of the bride. This is often the garter the bride wears. This particular tradition of the something blue is not used as much today.

A sixpence in your shoe symbolized a wish to the bride for wealth in her married life. This is another tradition that has not been used by brides of the present.

WEDDING FLOWER – Bridal Party

Flowers in a wedding started out simple, but have moved into the expensive realm of wedding planning today. Flowers were originally incorporated into the ceremony as a symbol of fertility. Flowers have become a huge part of a wedding – elaborate bouquets seem to be a must with today’s brides.

Another part of the bridal party flowers that has also changed is who pays for what with regards to the flowers.

The old concept was as follows, but that has changed today. And this is in regards to the wedding party flowers, not the ceremony or reception flowers or décor.

Groom/Groom’s Family is/was responsible for:

Bridal Bouquet

Bride’s Veil or headpiece

Bride’s Toss Bouquet (which is now often provided by the florist at no charge)

Corsages for the Mothers and Grandmothers – both sides.

Bride’s going away corsage – isn’t used these days.

Rehearsal Dinner flowers.

Bride’s family responsible for all others. However, today the bride’s family usually pays for it all.

TOSSING OF THE BOUQUET

This tradition stems from England. Women often tried to tear pieces of the bride’s dress for good luck. But then the bride began tossing her bouquet and running to avoid the crowds. Today’s brides still toss a throw away bouquet to all the single women present, and the one catching is believed to be the next to get married. Years ago when I first married (40 years ago) the bride’s bouquet would be tossed; we didn’t have throw away bouquets.

THE BRIDAL VEIL

The veil has long been a symbol of youth, modesty and virginity, and was used to turn off evil.

BRIDESMAIDS

The bridal party was established many centuries ago. According to folk lure the purpose of the bridesmaids was to fool evil spirits. The bride’s friends would dress similar to her to fool and confuse any evil prescience that might be around. In today’s weddings bridesmaid are around to help the bride in stressful times during the wedding,

MORE TO COME….

This is just the beginning segment for Unique & Yours blog with regards to wedding traditions and are they still be used……stay tuned for more!!!! Coming next – why does the groom have a best man, why is the bride on the Groom’s left, and much more. It has been really interesting to research all these traditions and to see how many are still around.

In the many years that I have been doing wedding and event planning, I have seen the traditions begin to disappear. You will also notice this as the blog posts continue. You will find yourself looking for these things when you attend weddings....take a mental note of what you do see and don't see.

IS YOUR EVENT ECO FRIENDLY - GREEN

Having been in this profession for many years, I have traveled down many roads. One road that I am very much in support of is working with clients to plan their events around eco friendly ideas. There is a lot of waste that takes place when events, such as weddings are planned and held. I recommend that we all work together to help change this, will you?


If you are planning an event or wedding, you can do some green concepts, or go all the way green! Making your event eco friendly is not that complicated! Just takes some thought as to what you are willing to do.


As a planner, I continuously recommend to my clients to take a look at a list I have composed and give to each of them at our first meeting. Whether we meet at the very beginning, or further into their planning, it is never too late to incorporate many if these ideas.


Here are some of the suggestions that I have gathered over the years that can be applied today–


· Plan your wedding and reception in the same location.
· Keep your wedding cake simple and less wasteful – try using one small cake for ceremonial cutting and cupcakes for the guests. You can even have cupcake boxes for guests to take home a cupcake if there are left over’s.
· Use post card for rsvp – less paper, and it doesn’t require an envelope.
· Create a wedding website for rsvp and gift registry.
· Choose bridesmaids dresses that they can wear again.
· Choose fabrics that are eco-friendly.
· Blow bubbles rather than tossing rice – rice kills birds! And most churches and venues do not allow rice to be thrown. Also a note here, many places do not allow birdseed to be thrown either, attracts some unwanted birds. Always check first!
· Rent real dishes and glassware – rather than using disposable.
· Pick a local florist that uses locally grown flowers, as well as organic, if at all possible.
· Use cloth napkins rather than paper.
· Have your programs printed locally on 100% recycled paper.
· Instead of hosting a full bar, have a special drink made of organic ingredients, including organic vodka.
· If you feel you must use a save-a-date card, use something from hemp paper, and use email as much as possible.
· When deciding on what food is to be served at your reception, consult your caterer about using locally grown foods that are in season in your area.
· Donate your flowers to area nursing homes and hospitals for the patients to enjoy. But remember you will probably need to provide vases, as most florists rent their vases to you; this is their way of going green. If you prefer, compost your flowers! Or you can have them professionally preserved!
· There are many favors available that promote going green, check them out and use one of those ideas.
· Purchase wedding shoes that you will be able to use again.
· Ask your caterer in the planning stage if they will either allow you to take leftover food home with you, or if they will donate it to a local food kitchen.
· Give a reusable locally made cloth tote bag to your bridesmaids to place their items in from the dressing room!
· Instead of bouquets for the bridesmaids, give them matching clutches. They can use them again. Color coordinate them to wedding colors, have florist secure a small simple corsage to them for the ceremony. The bridesmaids will appreciate them.
· Rather than serving champagne for the toasts, have guests toast with what they are drinking. DJ can make announcement so they can get a refresher if they need before toasts.
· Serve local organic wines at the reception – check with your planner for area sources.
· Instead of a full course meal, choose a cocktail and appetizer reception – with desserts.
· Have your baker use locally grown in season berries on your cake.
· Rent tuxedos locally.
· Hire an all-digital videographer.
· Hire all local vendors.
· Give tree saplings as a favor.
· Use bees wax candles if possible.


There are many more ideas and ways to be eco friendly in the planning of your wedding or any event. These are just a few. And planning an eco friendly wedding or event is less expensive!


Happy Planning!!!!!!!!


Marilyn

"VENUE" WEDDING COORDINATORS

VENUES AND THEIR WEDDING STAFF

A week does not go by without me receiving a call from a frantic bride. She is looking for a wedding coordinator or planner to help her put things together. She feels she was misled by the “venue” wedding coordinator.

Many venues where the weddings and receptions are held have a “coordinator” on staff. BUT without reading through her contract the bride “assumes” that the venue coordinator will help her in doing “all” the planning for her big event.

WRONG…the norm in the venue coordinator job description is to help plan the usage of the venue and what they (venue) are to provide. The coordinator is there to make sure you follow the signed contract, and to provide only what they have agreed to in the contract.

Some venue coordinators step out of line and try to do more than they are trained for and led the rehearsal, often doing it wrong and causing a huge problem. While they may have helped with several weddings in that venue, they are not often properly trained to lead a rehearsal or get the group down the aisle properly on the day of the event.

Brides should ALWAYS ask up front what specifically the venue coordinator will be doing, ask for references on their ability to do more, and get it in writing. Make sure they are qualified, really qualified. Professional wedding planners/coordinators are trained in every aspect of wedding planning and coordination. They study different religious and cultural aspects that make some weddings unique.

I have been doing this for years and have only come across a handful of venue coordinators that actually have the training to do the rehearsal or ceremony items. Some think they do, but usually do not get it right, and the bride is very disappointed. This is her day and to have it upset by the inexperience of a venue coordinator is sad.

The venue coordinator should ALWAYS make it perfectly clear that they will not be doing any of the planning of the event with the exception of dealing with what the venue does or provides. When a bride sees the words “wedding planner” or “wedding coordinator” as part of the venue details, they feel as if that person will help in every aspect of the planning. This is wrong.
You notice that I have mentioned the same thing twice. There is a reason for that. Brides should not assume that the venue coordinator/planner is going to take the place of a real wedding planner, because doing that is asking for a problem. Ask before, not afterwards.

I will share with you now a horrible thing that happened to a bride when she assumed that the venue coordinator was taking care of things. The bride read in the contract and on their website that the venue had a wedding coordinator who would help “plan” their event “at” this venue. Nothing was in the contract about what it was exactly the venue coordinator/planner was going to provide.

So to make this shorter, but not less painful, the bride went on for a couple of months wondering how her wedding was coming along and how the planner was doing with it. She called the venue coordinator, and found out that nothing had been done, except for what the venue was to take care of…..lots of mis-communication; misunderstanding and hurt feelings followed that call. She now had to really get busy and complete the planning….panic had set in.

The moral of this story is……DO NOT assume that the venue (ceremony or reception) coordinator will take care of everything for you!!! It just doesn’t work that way. Read the contract and ask for explanations.

Venues need to be up front with clients and explain it all to them……do not lead them on to think you will do it all. There are some that will not open up and explain, so clients need to ask around, and be straight forward with their questions.

Remember brides, ask questions, read contracts and make sure you are getting what you think you are, or look elsewhere!!!

WELCOME

I want to extend my welcome to any followers of this blog. I will be posting in the next few days on topics like

1. Why you need a wedding planner, what exactly they do and how they can make your event less stressful for you.

2. What to look for in venues, whether it is for your ceremony or reception. Hidden items in the contracts.

I look forward to hearing from you. If you have a wedding related topic that you would like discussed, please feel free to let me know.