Wedding traditions - where have they gone?
As I continue to research the wedding traditions, I am finding that many are still used today, but altered some! It is interesting to learn about how some of the traditions began, and when!
This is the 3rd part of our postings on this subject. Hope you are enjoying learning more about them!
Father of the Bride escorting the Bride own the Aisle
This tradition actually has a two part meaning – first the Father of the bride is actually saying through this that he things that this young man is a very good choice for his daughter and that he is escorting her to him. It can also be taken to mean that the father is presenting his daughter to this man as a pure young woman that he raised.
In my years I have also seen many brides who do not want their father to escort them down the aisle for reasons of their own. And I have witnessed fathers who do not want to walk their daughters down the aisle.
Taking of the Right Hands by Couple During the Ceremony
Offering the open right hand to each other during the ceremony presents a sign of strength and purpose. By clasping the hands together, the combine these strengths and accept the others symbolizing that each can depend on the other. It some thought it could be viewed as a sealing of the contract. It is similar to the gentleman’s handshake for commitments that are made.
Why the Groom Says His Marriage Vows First
In marriages, it is viewed that the man should be the leader and assumes a larger responsibility. Although this may seem old fashioned to many today, it is brought forth from history, and accepted as the trend. The groom is thought of as the covenant initiator, and he must be the first to commit to the marriage as per God’s desire.
And we all do believe that a marriage is a shared experience and the couple should be equal in it, but we to know that the man has always been know as the head of the house – even though some females feel they are in control.
Engagement Ring
This old tradition, the giving of a ring, was used long ago to seal agreements. A marriage or engagement is thought of as a sacred agreement. During the time when marriages were purchased, the ring symbolized a partial payment for the bride. Did you know that the first diamond engagement rings were first worn back in Italy during the medieval times? Diamonds have always been the preferred stone for engagement rings by brides. It was said that the diamond’s sparkle is caused by the fires of love.
Not all brides like diamonds and prefer another stone.
Why is the Couple Pronounced – Husband and Wife
This is the point and time of the ceremony when they are blessed by marriage and start their journey together. It also gives those in attendance the reassurance that they are now married – a sort of validation.
Signing of the Guest Book
Wow, most of the weddings have this wrong. According to tradition, the wedding guest book is a book that should actually be signed “after” the ceremony. The guests would be testifying that they were witness to the covenant, and will testify to the reality of the marriage.
Most weddings today have you sign the guest book before entering the ceremony. This has happened probably due to all the confusion and congestion after the ceremony.
Why Food at the Reception
Food has always been a part of most celebrations and this is no different. Serving food at a reception goes a little further though, it symbolizes the unity of the couple, and they share that with their guests.
Why are Wedding Cakes Such a Big Part of the Wedding Reception
Actually cakes, as well as bread have always been part of celebration of a marriage. The ancient Romans considered bread to be a symbol of fertility. To ensure that fertility would be present in this couple, a loaf of bread would be broken over the bride’s head and the crumbs would be served to the guests.
Another look at this would be the belief that a couple was not considered married until they had broke the bread and eaten it together.
Today we use the cutting of the cake, and the groom feeding the bride first, or together to follow that tradition of the Romans. Guests are offered a piece of the wedding cake to wish the couple luck and to provide a sign of unity.
Groom’s cakes have made their appearances through the years. Not all receptions have them. The groom’s cake was often served at the rehearsal dinner which is hosted by his family. This too was thought of as a blessing of fertility. Groom’s cakes first appeared as a dark rich fruitcake, but have evolved over the years.
Throwing of Rice and Petals
The tradition of throwing rice and or petals after the ceremony has evolved over the years. In the Middle Ages it was the custom to throw handfuls of wheat over the couple to represent the hope for fertility. In more recent times rice was substituted for the wheat, then it was flower petals to symbolize beauty, happiness, prosperity and of course fertility.
However today, things are changing once again. Many venues or churches do not allow the throwing of rice. Once reason it that it is not good or safe for birds that try to feed on it. At one time birdseed was used, but I have found in recent years as a planner, that churches and venues do not allow bird seed as an alternative. The reason being is that it attracts unwanted birds to visit and reside.
As far as the flower petals, real ones are ok, as they do eventually compost into the soil, and the birds will not eat them. BUT the silk ones are a totally different story.
Be creative with your decision, and plan green if at all possible. Many brides are deleting this entirely out of their wedding.
Bridal Showers
Because of a Dutch father, bridal showers were introduced. The father did not approve of his daughter’s choice for a husband – he was after all a poor miller. The bride, assisted by her friends asked to be showered with gifts so that she would have the necessary dowry to gain her father’s respect and permission to be married to this man. In England many years later a woman wanted to congratulate her friend for her upcoming marriage, but her one gift did not seem big enough. So she suggested to the bride’s friends that they gather and present their gifts at the same time. It was so popular that it became known as a bridal shower, and has continued on today.
MORE TO COME – final part
In the final part, I will talk about a few remaining traditions, touch base on some customs of other countries, and sum up my thoughts!
Hope you are enjoying these as much as I am! I love the history of things!
