ETIQUETTE AND MANNERS

      So, you have been invited to a formal wedding reception. Attending these receptions is really not any different that attending a formal dinner as a guest. It is still appropriate to use proper etiquette while in attendance. We have put together some of the do's and don'ts that are suggested for proper reception manners!

We will touch on dinner table etiquette ~ Do's and Don'ts and simple good manners.

DINNER TABLE ETIQUETTE - the Do's

1. Once seated, unfold your napkin and place it across your lap.

2. At the end of the dinner, leave the napkin on the place setting. This also helps in letting the serving staff that you are done, and they can remove your place setting.

3. Leave your plate where it is when finished, never push it away from you.

4. It is acceptable to leave some food on your plate, on the other hand do not attempt to leave your plate so clean that it looks as if you haven't eaten in days.

5. While you are eating, you may wish to rest the knife and fork on the sides of the plate, between bites. When you are finished lay them side by side in the middle of the plate. This also signals the staff that you are finished, and they may remove your plate.

6. If you have olives, remove the olive pit with your thumb and index finger, before placing it in your mouth.

7. Taste everything on your plate, unless you have allergy issues. You do not have to eat it all, but make an attempt to taste it.

Table set up for reception at Hotel Bothwell in Sedalia

DINNER TABLE ETIQUETTE ~ the don'ts

1. Never take your cocktail to the dinner table.

2. Never blow on the food to cool it down, let it cool on it's own if it is to hot.

3. NEVER blot your lipstick with your napkin, OR blow your nose. In fact, excuse yourself from the table and go to the restroom to blow your nose NOT AT the table.

4. Keep your elbows off the table at all times.

5. Don't put your purse, keys, sunglasses or eyeglasses on the table.

6. Lipstick is a real problem - always blot it when you apply it (away from the table) with a tissue, not at the table with a napkin. Lipstick often ruins linens, and the host may be charged for the damaged linen.

7. Never start eating before a signal from the host or before blessing if being given.

8. Do not use your bread for dipping into soups or mopping up sauces.

9. Refrain from making loud noises- such as slurping or burping. This is very impolite and the number one sin at the dinner table.

10. DO NOT talk with your mouth full of food, it is very unpleasant to watch and very impolite.

11. DO NOT stretch across the table to reach food, condiments or wine. Ask the person sitting close to them to pass them to you.

12. Do not pick your teeth or lick your fingers, it is not attractive.

13. NEVER criticise the choice of food that the host has chosen. If you can not compliment, then it is best to stay silent.



AN INTERESTING NOTE
In American society, it is perfectly acceptable to cut one's food using the knife and fork as usual, and then transfer the fork to the right hand to then "spear" it before eating.
In Continental Europe,
this would however be frowned upon. Here, food is only ever transferred to the mouth with the fork in the left hand with the prongs still facing downwards - a very delicate act indeed if one's host is inconsiderate enough to serve garden peas as a vegetable!


These are just a few reminders of the proper way to act when you go to events.

Always be courteous, after all you are an invited guest!

Have a great time!!





INVITATION ETIQUETTE

Did you know that there IS actually something called "Invitation Etiquette"? It guides us to the correct way and procedure to follow when selecting, addressing and sending the invites for that special day!


The creation of your invitation sets the tone for the event, and announces to your guests what type of celebration that they are invited to attend. Setting the tone includes the style of the invitation, the choice of paper, the color and the fonts. All that wrapped up into a work of art! WOW!!!! that seems like alot.

Just a sample of Unique invitations

I am finding today that a lot of brides are venturing out from the standard white invitation in a plain white envelope. They are adding their own touch, making it personal. Some are continuing the theme of their wedding throughout all the paper items being used - invitations, save the date cards, RSVP cards, menus and programs.

Last season I had a bride use a fall theme that featured trees and leaves. The invitations, in fact all the paperwork had fall leaves and fall colors on them. We carried that over to the reception by using the names of trees as table identification, colorful fall leaves scattered on the tables, and tree branches adorned with hanging glass teardrops holding tea candles.

Fall themed wedding/programs

 

As a planner I have been asked many times about the proper wording, font, and when you should mail the invitations. But one question that asked on almost a regular basis is "Is it ok to ask for money on a wedding invitation?" My answer would be a loud NO.

It is not socially acceptable or a tactful way to ask for cash this way! The question usually comes from clients in their 20's or 30's who have been living together and have all the items they need for their home. They also tend not to register for traditional gifts.

My recommendation to them is always - that this type of request is best passed on verbally by family and friends when they are asked what to get the couple. The couple if asked can make a suggestion by saying something like "We are saving for a down payment for our first home, so if you would like to give us a check, that is how we would use it." You should never dictate to guests what to give you.

A recent suggestion that I have given to my couples is to have a website for their wedding event, and on their they can list their gift registries......to include maybe a Honeymoon Gift registry.....such as: www.travelersjoy.com . Your guests can purchase gifts for your honeymoon!

www.travelersjoy.com
 
Some brides have also set up an account for charitable donations to be made in their name.


I have even had brides ask on their websites for canned goods to be brought to their reception as a donation to a food bank. instead of bringing gifts.

Your invitation is just that, and invitation to people who you want present to help celebrate your beautiful day!

Make it unique and yours!!!!

~ Marilyn