PLANNING YOUR GIFT REGISTRIES

Gift Registries


The use of gift registries has changed over the years! Even the bride to be with one of the biggest engagement rings - Kim Kardashian is using gift registries. Although hers is probably not the norm, with a registry approaching over $200,000 in registered gift wants, she is none the less using them. One of her least expensive requests is a $195 bottle opener.

At the other end of the spectrum are many brides who are delighted just to receive wedding bands from the men they love and expect little else. In the middle is the vast number of brides who embrace the concept of helping their guests find a gift, which will symbolize their good wishes for the new couple. That is the role played by most businesses, such as: J.C. Penney's; Kohls; Target; Bed, Bath and Beyond, etc. Each of them have their niches, and are widely available throughout America, as well as online.

With the impact of the sagging economy on many minds, we are seeing changes in selections made by the couples in their gift registry. In the by gone days, couples would get an abundance of toasters, coffee pots, blankets, sheet sets, towels, kitchen utensils and so forth. While registries are still being used, the requested (or suggested) items have changed. Practical, useful, current - are adjectives being attached to the bulk of many couples choices today.

Something new that as been added to the mix of registries is the - Honeymoon Gift Registries. They are becoming a popular way for couples to get added luxuries to their honeymoons. But beware there are online sites that may not follow through with your lists, so shop safely. Check for references!

According the www.consumer reports.com and their 2011 Guide to Wedding Gifts, more and more couples are going for practical gifts - but let us not confuse practical with inexpensive. Topping the lists are cooking knives - the REALLY GOOD chef's knives. This makes sense, since a first rate knife in the kitchen is as necessary as electricity, running water and of course the microwave. Also on the list are video games, video game consoles, single serve coffee makers (so each person can have their preferred flavor!), cookware (often the better and BEST sets available) and the up to date vacumn cleaners, as well as other small appliances. Most of these items are often over $100. A far cry from the $50 or less spent on gifts for the couple several years ago.

A trend that seems to be continuing is the giving of gift cards. If you are unsure what to give, give a gift card from a store where the couple is registered. Many couples today live together and own homes prior to the wedding, so a gift card to one of the Home Improvement - Lowe's, Home Depot - for example might be a good idea!

Couples should select locations for the registries that they truly desire, and should also take into consideration the guests that will be selecting gifts for them. Remember that the economy has taken a big blow and money might not be as readily available for some of the guests. Be considerate! And do not forget to thank them for each item - whether it is a gift, money or gift card!

In your thank you to them, mention what you got with the gift card or money, so they feel good about their decision!

If you are having any trouble deciding on where or what to register, check with your wedding planner. They are trained and educated to help you deal with these issues. Trust their experience!!!!!

UNITY CANDLE CEREMONY

Wedding ceremonies today often include special parts, such as the lighting of the unity candle. It is not really clear as to when this addition started in ceremonies. Most likely back 40 plus years.  But it is growing in popularity.

A set up using very simple holders and allowing space for a floral arrangement on the table.

The set up for the ceremony includes the placing of two tapers and one larger candle on a table in the ceremony area. It can be as ornate or simple as the bride desires. While there are unity candle holders and sets for sale in most bridal stores or other locations, creativity can also be used to have a unique set of holders.

This was a set up we did for a ceremony, using one of our unique candle holder sets.

Unity candle ceremonies symbolize the joining of two – the bride and groom – becoming united into one family. The two tapers are lit at the beginning of the ceremony by the mothers of the couple, or by someone very special if the mother is not available. The two mothers go to the table and light the tapers, putting them back in the holders where they will remain until the couple’s part.

A sample of the holder you find in stores.

At the time in the ceremony – usually designated by the officiant – the couple will move to the table. A prayer and a special song are usually incorporated here to help place emphasis on the value of this part of the ceremony. The bride and groom pick up the taper that was lit by their mother, and place their candles together to light the large middle candle. After the lighting of the main candle, the bride and groom can do one of two things – leave their tapers lit and place in holder, or blow out the flame of the taper and put the taper back in the holder. Some couples also take this time to have a moment of silence together thinking about their life together, a song that means something special to the couple.

The symbolism of leaving the tapers lit is – they have become one, but also remain two separate individuals. The blowing out of the tapers can mean that they are becoming one and leaving the old ways behind. It is up to the couple and their officiant.

Unity candles are often kept and displayed in the couple’s home. Some re-lit the candle each anniversary as a re-commitment to their life together.

Even though the use of unity candles in the ceremony is becoming wide-spread it is not used in all ceremonies and is prohibited by some churches, such as the Catholic faith. I find it used more in non-denominational ceremonies, but have also had it used in some protestant churches. You should always ask the minister of the church if this ceremony is allowed, and if they have special instructions for the ceremony.

It is used at both indoor ceremonies and some outdoor weddings. It is often difficult though to keep the flames lit due to winds outside. If you are going to use it outdoors, carefully plan the location of the table it will be on so that it will not be exposed to winds. Some people use hurricane covers for the candles outside – but they too can be blown over by the wind. So plan carefully.
Another tip for the table, place a clear piece of glass under the candle holder to save your tablecloth from candle drips.
More to come on some additions to ceremonies to help make your wedding “Unique & Yours”, next we will look at sand ceremonies and their popularity.
Happy planning!

WEDDING DRESS POEM

In my research for information about wedding traditions and folklore, I found the poem below. It seemed to fit with what I am writing about with regards to traditions and folklore about weddings.

This is an old poem about how the color of your wedding dress will influence your future:


Married in white, you will have chosen all right.

Married in grey , you will go far away.

Married in black, you will wish yourself back.

Married in red, you’ll wish yourself dead.

Married in blue, you will always be true.

Married in pearl, you’ll live in a whirl.

Married in green, ashamed to be seen,

Married in yellow, ashamed of the fellow.

Married in brown, you’ll live out of town.

Married in pink, your spirits will sink

~Origin unknown

WEDDING TRADITIONS AND FOLKLORE

WEDDING TRADITIONS – where have they gone?


Today’s brides are not necessarily into the traditions of bride’s of the past. Glitter and glamour seem to occupy many brides’ wedding plans today. In looking at wedding traditions, we will talk about many in a three part blog posting.

Some of what we think of as traditions is actually folk lore, carried down from times past.

THE WEDDING RING

Since the Roman times, the wedding ring has always been placed on the third finger of the left hand. They believed that fingers vein ran straight to the heart.

The ring is also a circle – meaning never ending.

Some faiths place the ring on a different finger during the ceremony.

SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING NEW, SOMETHING BORROWED, SOMETHING BLUE, AND A SIXPENCE IN YOUR SHOE

This is one of the customs that has been altered or entirely dropped by brides of today. We will look at each area individually and the meaning behind them

Something old is a reflection of the bond to the bride’s family and the past. It can be reflected in the wearing of the mother’s or grandmother’s wedding gown (which is seldom done today), or the wearing of a piece of family jewelry. It was often a hanky of a grandmother, or a small family bible.

Something new gives the symbol of hope and good fortune. This is often seen as the new wedding gown, a piece of jewelry as a gift from the groom or her family.

Something borrowed is usually an item lent to the bride from a happily married secure mature woman. It is meant to share the happiness, good fortune and joy of a stable woman.

Something blue is a symbol of love, fidelity and purity of the bride. This is often the garter the bride wears. This particular tradition of the something blue is not used as much today.

A sixpence in your shoe symbolized a wish to the bride for wealth in her married life. This is another tradition that has not been used by brides of the present.

WEDDING FLOWER – Bridal Party

Flowers in a wedding started out simple, but have moved into the expensive realm of wedding planning today. Flowers were originally incorporated into the ceremony as a symbol of fertility. Flowers have become a huge part of a wedding – elaborate bouquets seem to be a must with today’s brides.

Another part of the bridal party flowers that has also changed is who pays for what with regards to the flowers.

The old concept was as follows, but that has changed today. And this is in regards to the wedding party flowers, not the ceremony or reception flowers or décor.

Groom/Groom’s Family is/was responsible for:

Bridal Bouquet

Bride’s Veil or headpiece

Bride’s Toss Bouquet (which is now often provided by the florist at no charge)

Corsages for the Mothers and Grandmothers – both sides.

Bride’s going away corsage – isn’t used these days.

Rehearsal Dinner flowers.

Bride’s family responsible for all others. However, today the bride’s family usually pays for it all.

TOSSING OF THE BOUQUET

This tradition stems from England. Women often tried to tear pieces of the bride’s dress for good luck. But then the bride began tossing her bouquet and running to avoid the crowds. Today’s brides still toss a throw away bouquet to all the single women present, and the one catching is believed to be the next to get married. Years ago when I first married (40 years ago) the bride’s bouquet would be tossed; we didn’t have throw away bouquets.

THE BRIDAL VEIL

The veil has long been a symbol of youth, modesty and virginity, and was used to turn off evil.

BRIDESMAIDS

The bridal party was established many centuries ago. According to folk lure the purpose of the bridesmaids was to fool evil spirits. The bride’s friends would dress similar to her to fool and confuse any evil prescience that might be around. In today’s weddings bridesmaid are around to help the bride in stressful times during the wedding,

MORE TO COME….

This is just the beginning segment for Unique & Yours blog with regards to wedding traditions and are they still be used……stay tuned for more!!!! Coming next – why does the groom have a best man, why is the bride on the Groom’s left, and much more. It has been really interesting to research all these traditions and to see how many are still around.

In the many years that I have been doing wedding and event planning, I have seen the traditions begin to disappear. You will also notice this as the blog posts continue. You will find yourself looking for these things when you attend weddings....take a mental note of what you do see and don't see.

PROFESSIONAL OR PREFERRED, WHAT DOES IT MEAN REALLY?

Lately in this area there has been a lot of throwing around the words – professional and preferred. So I decided to tackle this topic because of the confusion it is causing among clients and vendors. I would mention the location I am referring to, but that would be unprofessional of me.


A short definition of a professional would be a person that acts professionally. It does not mean who charges the most, where they are located, or the dollars that their clients spend on their event is the better professional.

In considering who and what I see as a professional in this field would be someone who knows their field, has many years of experience, certified if applicable, adheres to a code of ethics, honest, trust worthy, truthful, respectful of the client and of other vendors, and dependable. I am sure I have missed some other areas, but these are important.

It is so discouraging when vendors belittle another vendor, that is not a professional way to act, especially when the vendors are not even in their field of expertise.

Professionalism + experience + training + manners should equal a great vendor!

Clients also like to see reviews that vendors have available; they care about what other clients have experienced with a vendor.

As we all strive to be professionals in our field, remember that there are none of us who are perfect! Each day, each client adds to our growth as a wedding professional. We each have our unique way of doing our job! Working on our own skills, techniques and approach is how we need to individually work on presenting ourselves as professionals in our field. Never put yourself on a pedestal as “the best” because you will surely be knocked down!

When posting to social media sources, always read what you have written and proof BEFORE you hit that send button. Do not always depend on spell check either, it makes mistakes too! That would be a professional thing to do! Sending out items with misspelled words and sentences that do not make sense looks bad! Take that extra step! Work towards a more professional appearance in your writing too! I am not perfect in this area either, but I do try and correct my mistakes!

How often do you see the words “preferred vendor”? What does that mean exactly? Who are they “preferred” by? Does everyone feel that way? Those are questions that often come up when speaking with clients. They see that a venue ONLY allows their preferred vendors and the client wants to know why?

It is often because a vendor has been asked to be put on a venue’s “preferred vendor list” and that is fine. But when venues go as far as restricting who a client can use as their vendors that is a big turn off for clients. Most of the time the restricted preferred vendor list are vendors that are very expensive for the client.

I have found that clients often like to select vendors who fit their needs, personality and budget. Vendors that are more expensive do not necessarily mean they are better, or the best. Clients should be allowed to select their vendors as they see fit, not necessarily from the venue’s exclusive vendor list.

So when we look at the “preferred” and “professional” terms that are being tossed about, we should be looking at how professional a vendor presents their services, before we label them “preferred”. Clients should be the ones determining whether a vendor is preferred, not others.

A big turn off for many clients is when the vendor places themselves on some type of pedestal and uses words like “I am the best” or “I do a much better job than------“. These statements are really unprofessional. Showing a client that you can do the best job is always the way to present yourself. Offer them the chance to read reviews by your former clients!

While I am sure that we all think of ourselves as the best in our field, the way to gain that title and respect is to prove yourself! Not by applying the title to you or others just because –

I often think of what Rodney King said “can’t we all just get along?”

WEATHER AND OUTDOOR WEDDINGS

Planning an Outdoor Wedding -

The weather has been really bad here in the Midwest so far this summer, lots of rain, winds and even tornadoes. The heat and humidity are also taking their toll. As a wedding planner, the weather is one of my greatest concerns when planning an outdoor wedding, BUT it also affects indoor weddings!

Last week I had a friend of mine call and talk to me about what happened at her nieces “outdoor” wedding the week before (notice this was after the fact). I had talked to her many months ago about her nieces wedding and asked who her planner was – there was none. Hearing that, I began to worry for her.

Her niece and her mother decided they could plan and coordinate it all. That was the first big mistake. While many brides begin planning their weddings, usually with Mom’s help, very few look at the total concept. They get wrapped up in the flowers, dresses, colors, etc. Aunts, friends, girlfriends are put in charge of doing the day of coordinating – just because they attended or took part in a wedding. They knew nothing about the proper formation of the wedding party or other ceremony related items. This turned out to be another issue – sending people down the aisle wrong, not to the right music, and more. My friend said it was a little messy.

Dreaming of an outdoor wedding in the spring or summer and often fall in Missouri is a beautiful thought. But it requires much more planning than one realizes. This is where a wedding planner could have guided the bride. Planners are not planning their wedding for you; they are assisting in the planning of your wedding for you! The planner would have given advice on what all needs to happen with an outdoor wedding – to avoid any problems or disappointments.

In listening to my friend, I learned that apparently no plans were made for an alternative location in case of inclement weather – which we had that weekend. The venue where her wedding was held did not offer an indoor location, and no mention of tents was made. However that weekend, no tent vendor would have set up due to high winds. I learned this from years of experience with community events.

While the mother and daughter had the basics planned for the wedding, they failed to plan the logistics. I once again stress the importance of a wedding planner involved somewhere in the picture. Often brides are led to believe that the venue “coordinator” will assist in all these issues, but that is not always the case. Most venue coordinators are not trained or certified in the wedding planning field. They are only concerned with their venue. Everything else is not their concern.

Another one of the logistical problems that came up while everyone was running for their cars, was the parking issue at the venue. It apparently was a nightmare. Many had to park a distance from the ceremony location. There was not enough parking for the number of guests that came to witness this event.

I could go on, but I think you probably get the idea. While it is a lot of fun picking out the colors, dresses, food, etc., there are other issues that need to be considered. A planner, whether for the entire planning process, or a day of coordinator, it is well worth it. They can handle the above issues while saving you money, and keeping the heartbreaking problems from raising their ugly heads!

This is the event that every girl dreams of; make sure all the items are covered!

Happy planning!!!!! And consult a planner – you will not regret it.